My grandmother died last week. It was not entirely unexpected; she gave us a few days’ warning that she was ready to rejoin her husband. But of course that only helps a little.

Some things about this kind of situation can be a little awkward, and you have to allow practicality to take over when you’d rather be sentimental.

My grandmother lived about 500 miles away from where I live. A lot of other family members live in the same area she did, but a good number did have to commute. This of course meant that we had to start talking immediately about the division of items not specifically disposed of in the will.

I consider my family to be quite fortunate. A couple of my cousins were a bit antsy about wearing some of grandma’s jewelry to her funeral without checking with others first. Everyone assured them after that it had been 100% all right and appropriate. Yet I know a lot of families would have been furious.

The division of household goods has been going well. The simple rule is that if you like it, write it down. Lists will be compared, and undisputed items will be the obvious property of those who want it. Items multiple people want will be disposed of by either generation or by who has already gotten what. If you’re getting a lot and the other person only a little, guess who gets the item, other factors being equal?

The hardest part was picking the sentimental things to ask for. I have so much clutter already it was very hard to think of what I would like most.

Practical things on the other hand, were pretty easy. Lots of folks were looking hard at kitchen items and tools, of course. There were a few things I wanted that no one else was remotely interested in, and so I get old, used versions instead of needing to buy new. Grandma was a believer in quality, so old was no problem.

The local relatives who are in charge of all this want it all to go quickly, so that the house can be sold. That’s going to be one of the hardest parts, watching that old house go out of the family. But it is very necessary.

All this, of course, emphasizes the need for people to have a will. Most wills need only be basic, as families can divide the everyday stuff up pretty easily. My grandparents had things pretty well organized, and so my mother and her siblings know what each of them needs to do right now as they dissolve the estate. But too many people don’t even have that much done.

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